What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
