I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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