You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
