her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
smell my finger.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
