dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
