i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
