you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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