so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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