Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
