Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
