my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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