Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
