ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
