yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
