so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
