I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
