Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
