Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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