living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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