Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
