The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize