My hand turned me down
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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