where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
