apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
