oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize