new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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