Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
