I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
