My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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