I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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