sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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