Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Barsexuality is the new black.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize