It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
