Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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