i think i have two assholes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
