I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize