Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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