We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
