I feel like abortions should bother me more
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
