Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
