How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
