Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
