Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
