Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
