I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
