i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think your dad took our porno
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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