Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My nipple is on Facebook.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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