My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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