He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize