quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
