i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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