we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
