so explain again why im purple
no
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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