We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
