Plan B is the new Plan A
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Duck Duck Cougar?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
