Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
