i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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