Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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