I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
