Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
