You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize