I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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