ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
