How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
