Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
