i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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