Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize