i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
